everyday

Lord Lord,
Everyday,
Each day is something hard to live by,
Why why, should you ask,
It's because I had to deal much with people,
Your people.

Lord Lord,
Everyday,
I'm really glad that You're my God,
That in my prayers,
Even if I don't get what I want,
I can still trust You for the best,
I'm really glad that You're my God,
and not the people that think they're the one who should be.

Lord Lord,
Each day I call You Lord,
In my prayers while walking to campus,
Everytime before I taste my meal,
When I pray for my friends, and together,
But it's funny how,
The more I ask try to visualize You,
The more I realise that I know little of You,
When I thought I knew a lot.

Lord Lord,
Even though I can see that I know You not,
My hands, they are heavy to reach to Your words,
To the well-accepted Scriptures,
Even now, I don't really understand what they are,
Questions Lord, questions in my heart is building up,
About how You truly work,
Everything I've seem to already know,
You have crush it down,
To pieces Lord, to pieces.

Lord Lord,
How can I share of Your goodness,
If I know You not?
I know You are good,
but that's all there is that I know of.
Who are You, really?
Even when I say I do love You,
It's amazing that I know You not,
I know You not.

Lord Lord,
Why is it that my memories seem to be fading away,
My recollections aren't gathering together,
They are fleeing away.
My eyes are being blinded again,
Or is it that it's only now that I know I see clearly not?


Lord Lord,
I can talk to people about who You really are,
of the rightful doctrines of the orthodoxy Christianity,
And of the speculative beliefs of various denominations,
But why is it that I seem to know You not,
I seem to know You not?
My heart yearn to seek You out,
but my hands are weary,
To seek You out again,
my mind is weary,
Tired of the necessity of a repeated toil,
To get to know You again,
again Lord.

Lord Lord,
Has my mind been darkened,
By all the things that I have done,
That are not rightful in Your sight.
Or is this the reason You forbade me to ever touch it?
Knowing that the more I bathe in it,
The more chances I have,
To get my senses dulled,
My sights dimmed,
and my mind darkened?

Lord Lord,
I have vowed,
To never set my heart upon the beauty of a woman,
For as long as I am not worthy,
Not worthy of such a gift,
Not able of such a responsibility,
But for what have I said such things,
For what I have promised such an obscure thing?
And when the day comes that I understand no more,
Remind me Lord,
Remind me Lord.

Lord Lord,
Why do I feel so judged,
To know that no matter what I do,
There will always be a mistake,
A mistake Lord,
That might be as unforgiveable as it might be,
That might be a stumbling block,
That might be a blocking wall, Lord.
Everyday,
Is hard to live by,
With so many expectation, to and from.

Lord Lord,
Everyday is hard to live by,
With so many choices,
My eyes are blurred,
From knowing what is right,
From knowing what is true,
The heaviness of having to consult You in everything,
And even so, it might not be right afterall,
Do you speak with such certainty to me, still?
How should I know if it is You who whispers to me, Lord?
Even when I think You speak,
Even so, there might still be fault,
And these Lord, these will be judged.
I will be condemned, Lord.

Lord Lord,
Who am I to go to,
When the night is still,
When the day is quietened?
Let me not lean towards my friends and my foes,
Let me not seek to be fulfilled by their presence.

Lord Lord,
Don't send them always,
Don't.
I do not wish to be fulfilled by their friendship,
Nor their companionship.
Because I'll forget of You Lord,
I'll get so comfortable I'll forget about You Lord.
Because I had once done so, and it was so.

Lord Lord,
Let my comfort be You,
The cover of my loneliness,
The cover of my helplessness,
The cover of my emptiness.
Don't send friends always Lord, don't send them always.
Let Holy Spirit be my comforter, let Him be.
Let Him satisfy my soul, that I thirst no more.
I wish not to be dependent,
To anyone else other than You,
other than You, Lord.

Lord Lord,
I know love enough not -
To speak when one is wrong.
I know love enough not -
To rebuke when one is strayed.
I know love enough not -
By being silent when I should speak.
I know love enough not -
By being supportive when I should not?
I know love enough not -
By not judging when I should?
Which way to go, what things to do.

Lord Lord,
Is love not judging all the time?
Is love being supportive in all things?
Is love not saying anything when something is thought to be wrong?
Is love fearful of being judged after speaking while being imperfect ourselves?
Am I loving by not pointing out mistakes?
Am I loving when defending when I know of the wrong?

Lord Lord,
Everyday,
Everyday is hard to live by,
In the eyes of the people,
The works of my hands is imperfect,
My history dug out to my shame,
The world is unforgiving,
It is cruel.
No matter how perfect I am Lord,
I will never be in their eyes.

Lord Lord,
Make me understand Lord,
That You wish me to live peaceably with all,
Not to please,
Not to please Lord.
Let Thy will be done,
Not mine,
Not theirs,
Not anyone else's, but Thy will be done.
Even when it goes against mine so hurtful and heartbreaking,
Even when it goes against theirs to bring about scornful looks and harsh remarks,
Let me learn to accept Thy will,
And let me trust Lord, let me trust in Thy will,
For Thee know it all,
Thee know it all.

Lord Lord,
Praises be to You,
of the greatness of Your will,
And the wonder of Your grace.
Your comfort falls like dew in the dark of the night,
Soft and slow.
Teach me to endure the heat of the day,
To wait upon Your comfort Lord,
And Your will,
For perfection is not in an instance, but is one with the essence of time.

Lord Lord,
Teach my heart,
That it'll be still in wait of You,
In complete trust of Your plans,
In full acceptance of Your will,
For even if it goes against mine,
I know that it's always made with me in mind,
With me in mind.