Saturday, June 20, 2009


There have been many period in life where I would look at my life and think to myself, oh, how I would like to get this-and-that done, perfectly if possible. Then I'll be happy.

But if so, then what?

Do I know myself enough to say that when it's all said and done, that I'm such a person to say, "let's look for something else to go after in life," or will I scare myself by saying, "that's all there is in my life; there's nothing else to look forward to?"

Hmm... I think I'll just allow myself to be contented with all imperfections I'm currently having.

Plus, I think imperfection is cute. ;)

phonecall phobia

I used to think that my fear of realtime phone calls is because of a certain-childhood-experience-induced phobia.

But now, I think it has got more to do with my sorry-my-cacated-ear-can't-get-you ear.

Friday, June 19, 2009

those promises

Now that I think about it, it seems like I've been getting a lot of reminder these days.

With the shifting, I-can't-deal-with-these-people-anymore, financial worries (yeah right. I don't even know how this came into the list. When looking at the actual record, it's a joke that it's there) and whatnot, it seems as if it's a call of "hey, when are you going to fulfill that promise you made Me?"

Well, not that I didn't realise it earlier; I just didn't want acknowledge it.

I did say that when you takes care of people, God will take care of you. And with all my promises of service, and the ring on my finger...

But of course, the fearful me would still not dare to tread the first step after admitting knowledge of all these things... So, are You going to poke me some more?...


This so-called love seems like some sort of game these days.

And I don't feel like playing anymore.


I used to wonder why is it that most of things I say to you are just 'OK's.

I think I know why now. The only alternative is very undesirable.