the reason

People are kind to the people they love. I mean, exceptionally kind.

It's natural to be kind to those we love, but are we kind towards the one we love BECAUSE we love them, or SO THAT they love us?

Some people force kindness on people, the person that they love, and when the love goes unrequited, they're angry. They don't understand why the person cannot return their love when they've been so kind, so generous.

It's natural to hope that our feelings be felt, and returned by the one person we're fond of, but is it fair to force it unto them by pressuring them with the debt of generosity and kindness?

If the person is unable to return your feelings, do you stop, try to forget, and look for someone else who would be able to return your feelings?

Or is your heart bound to the same person, even when the person has no feelings towards you, got married, grows old with someone, who unfortunately is not you? Yes, such cases are rare, till it only seems to appear in fairy tales.

And is it insincere to be kind to a person, just because you're fond of them? Just because the person think that you're being kind because of friendship? Is it a betrayal to be kind for such reason? Somehow, it feels so.

Thus, it is especially important to test our own feelings. To see whether it is love, or actually lust. It is natural to want to have the person for yourself, but if it's love, the grabbing hands would open free to let go. And if it's lust, the grabbing hand would consume selfishly, never letting go, at least not until everything is consumed.

And do ask yourself, whether everything you're doing for the person is because of your likings of the person, or because you're forcing a debt of love unto them.

May God guide us all in this matter, even when He seems irrelevant, I assure you that He is capable.