undying Grace

If one were to ask for a reason of why my trust is placed on Jesus Christ, my answer would be because He saved me.

No, I'm not referring to eternal damnation and sins and things like that. But of course, I'm blessed that by His sacrifice on the cross, I was invited to be with Him in heaven, instead of hell. For as long as I can remember, my life has been for nothing. Working, toiling, studying, striving. But I never sit down just to think of the reason I'm doing all those.

All your life you strive to be the best. All your life you're called one of the best. But coming out into the world, you found out that it's not so. There are tonnes of things you're incapable of, and you realise how incompetent you actually are.
And at this kind of time, He came and draw u out, cleanse you, feed you, and give you a reason to live. I needed not look anymore. He draw me out of the pit, and give me life, when He's not obliged to do so. It was His grace, and while undeserving, I gladly accept it.

Indeed, I consider myself more blessed than most, because of the ways He's working in my life. Little little prayer, of great impossibility, was answered, in His own wonderful ways, even when He didn't really need to.

The reason to this post, is because a while ago, while playing a game, an error occured. And despite my efforts to turn my computer on again, it was to no avail. Somehow, a file got corrupted. I can't even boot my computer up using the setup CD, and worse yet, even my boot up CD doesn't work! It was indeed dishearting, because while I can probably fix it, it'll require a great deal of my time and effort, and it would be seriously, very troublesome.

I left it a while, tired and I don't feel like doing anything anymore. Because I was kinda down with a lost, and this kind of thing just have to add to my misery. After playing few games to escape from the real world, I walk back to my computer. I said to Him, "I don't know how you're gonna repair this error, because I can't even boot it up using my trusty CD. But anyway, please help."
I turn it on, and somehow, the error didn't appear anymore. Still, my computer is not very stable and restarts every now and then, but the main thing is now I can access it and backup whatever that is necessary.

From the time when the computer can actually be accessed, tears nearly rolled down my cheek, most probably because of my varying-emotion-disorder, but also because of the feeling of unworthiness. He didn't really need to help me with anything, but He did anyway, and I gladly accept it. You might say it's just coincidence and stuff, but like I've mentioned previously, because I've prayed, and He grants, I would not just dismiss it and categorize it as coincidence.

And I kinda feel that this is His way to ask me to stop despairing over that lost, and to stop self-pitying. I still have Him, and this will never change. If it's in His plan for me to be with certain someone, He'll bring it to completion, HIS OWN WAY. If not, well, I'll just have to wait and see what's instore for me, and stop feeling sad for myself.

I don't know whether this is His intention, but at least it was a good wake up call. I'll try to look forward, and walk as I should, while trying my best to maintain this trust in Him. I can't possibly know what the future will be, but with a God like Him, I can stop fearing for the worst, and start getting excited.

Thank You for bringing me to the place where I now sit. When I look back, it was indeed a long, and very impossible path. But I'm here anyway. And because I'm here, I can indeed expect even more wonderful things from You, be it bad or good in my sight, because I know that all things work together for the good of those who love You, for the called, according to Your purposes.

Now I can sleep at ease, being reminded of Your eternal company, that I am not alone, be it in my sadness, or my happiness. :)

God bless.