in awe

Is it not interesting that when God calls us, it's almost always when we're least prepared for it.

Well, He does prepare us for it, through hints, through nudges, through events, through conversations, but all in all, it's mysterious.

It's so mysterious and interesting that I almost couldn't care less about explaining it; I'd rather just watch and be fascinated.

We struggle with His calling, we wrestle it out, we cry, we whimper, we sulk.

It seems so hard to comply, it seems so hard to obey, UNTIL you obeyed.

When you've finally given in, you'd be so relieved and that such decision does not seem that hard to make afterall. But looking back, you know it is tough.

Why so? Is it because of how our human nature is determined to condemn our person to the depths of hell? Or is it because of temptation from our faithful adversary, the devil?

But it's fun that no matter what, if we do love God, He'll always get what He wants through us. (Doesn't mean He don't get what He wants if we don't love Him.)

We may go into that cycle of complaining to Him, bargaining with Him, arguing with Him.
We may even comply, but with personal agenda(s).

But it's fun to see that our own selfish motives get changed and remoulded, unwittingly, to fit His plans instead.

'All things work together for the good of those who *love* God, to those who are the called, according to *His purpose*.' - Romans 8:28

And even while writing this that I'm having a better understanding of this verse.

Reminds me of a time when I was assigned the task of preparing devotional material for a camp of the Christian Fellowship I belonged to (though I do not feel qualified for such thing.). I was planning to use that opportunity to address a certain issue I see prevailing among my beloved brethrens, only to find that the final product was totally different from what I intend it to be.

And the final form was such that I cannot change it back to fit my agenda.

My Lord gets what He wants, while not revealing His plans to me, and even through my selfishness, shapes me to be a better servant of His.

Well, others might deem the final product not good enough, but I couldn't care less. It's not my job to squeeze result out of people.

I saw how my Lord worked through me, with such elegance, mystery, and authority, that I can do nothing else but to bow down and admire Him of His wonderful ways.

Let me be with You in this wretched body for a while more, in awe of Your wonders and might, a witness among many, of Your goodness and greatness.

And let us be awed to such extent that we cannot help but to invite those around us to also be witnesses of Your awesomeness.