blessing

Those who know me would know how obsessed I am with God's blessing, especially with the physical and obvious ones.

Of course, I do try my best not to allow myself be confused that not seeing a blessing I expect is not an indication that God is not pleased with me, as if undesirable things are indication that I'm doing badly.

But I can't shake off this feeling that somehow, for the past few months that God seem to be asking me this question, and it's getting louder and louder:

"Should I cease to bless you, would you still follow after Me?"