via Christus

"Come to Christ, all you who work and are heavy laden, and He will give you rest. Take His yoke upon you and learn from Him, for He is gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For His yoke is easy and His burden is light."
- Matthew 11:28-30 (paraphrased)

"He has come that you may have life, and that you may have it more abundantly."
- John 10:10b (paraphrased)


Having a sudden sense of peace with everything.

And at the same time feeling burdenful for my siblings in Christ.

Torn between self and the Spirit.

I can identify with that. But I can hardly remember the feeling of it anymore. My mind is more attuned to short-occuring incidents rather than periodic ones.

But I know I've been there. I even have a book to remind me, it's entitled "when good is not good enough," and another of my favourite, borrowed from the church library, "how to be a christian without being religious."

As I walk through life, I'm beginning to see clearer the struggle between our inner desires and God's Spirit.

To illustrate, it's like a stick with two ends. One is the sinful nature, and another is God's nature. As you walk in Christ, it's like you're slowly walking further and further from the bad end to the good end.

The real truth is probably more than this, but that's the least I can see from what I've experienced.

That's why it's hard to want to do the right things. That's why it's hard to want to be good. Your "self" is identified with the sinful nature all these while, and that's who you believe you are. And of course, you are all that you are.

But as God leads you along, as you walk with Him, your "self" slowly cease to identify with the sinful nature, and more of God's.

I understand, and I really, really understand what you're feeling; that hypocritical feeling, that "this is not me" thoughts, or the anger, the frustration, the disappointments.

But I plead you to remain in Christ, knowing that all these you suffer for Him is not in vain. You might not bear stripes of scars or bruises for Him, but these inner-struggle, you know who you suffer for.

Remain in Him, and He will remain in you. A fruit is not produced overnight, it takes time.
Is your God blind that He cannot see your desire to honour Him?
Do you think He is slow to come to your aid? His timing is impeccable!

"He will sit as a refiner and a purifier of silver;
He will purify the sons of Levi,
And purge them as gold and silver,
That they may offer to the Lord
An offering in righteousness"
- Malachi 3:3

And would I remind you that the job as a refiner is not easy, to have to sit uncomfortably and to focus on the work at hand, in the heat of the refining fire.

And it is beyond my understanding that God would accept our offerings, when He's the one that has given us all these in the first place.
He gave so that we can give, knowing that we have nothing to give, so that He can be given.

And it is beyond my understanding that He would pick us, little stones from everywhere, to polish us with all His might, so that we can be beautiful and worthy to be fixed to His magnificent crown.

So, do not burden yourself thinking that you're capable to do things *for* God. You merely respond to His gentle (sometimes not) calling and soft nudging, no matter where you are, no matter what it is.

It might be just picking up the litter that you notice from the street, or to just help a friend when you're about to sleep, or even in loving people who are lovable and unlovable.

So, this is my good news for you today,
For you, who are weary,
For you, who are tired,
That you don't become good for Christ; He makes you good.