higher

"The problem starts when we make up our own minds what will give us happiness and then decide, if we don't get exactly that, that God doesn't love us." -Elisabeth Elliot-

It's amazing how we humans sometimes stubbornly going after things that God doesn't want us to, and when things start going wrong, we wonder why God wouldn't make our plans go well.

Whenever God says no to the things we want to pursue, we try our best to reason using our logical human intellect, to tell Him that if we are allowed to go for things we want to go for, we would be happy. Afterall, wouldn't God have wanted us to be happy?

Stubbornly, we go after things we thought would surely make us happy, and when things began to go tumbling down, we blame it all on Him.

Why wouldn't He bless our path?
Why wouldn't He be there to stop things from going wrong?
Why would He allows such thing to even happen?
Aren't we the blessed of most?
Why is He not on our side, giving us all that we wanted to have?
Or even, why did He allowed us to have our ways in the first place?

I hate such generation. But I shouldn't. If I were to hate them, it wouldn't be them that I hated, but God. Because He created them. Plus, I belong to such generation. I am afterall one of them, making the same ignorant decision from time to time.

Can we not see that whenever God says no, it's not because He doesn't want us to be happy, but it's the exact opposite.

Have you ever thought that you would be happy doing or having certain things, but realised that it brought misery instead?
Have you ever thought that you would be happy exerting revenge, but afterwards found yourself sore from hurting too?
Have you ever thought that running away from God would make you free from various restrictions, but instead found yourself chained to various things, broken and unwell?

There are many toys I wanted to have when I was a child. Figurines, robots, plushies (ahaha) and such. I never understood why my dad wouldn't just buy me all of them. Afterall, having all those stuff would definitely make me happier. Or at least that's what my brain of that age was telling me.

As I grew up, I found that what I thought then wasn't true at all.

If my dad were to buy me all those things, it would be equivalent to countless cash being burned as those toys would be in some boxes somewhere right now.
If my dad were to buy me all those things, I would've been spending lesser time on books and tv, and would not have learned as much as I should have.
If my dad were to buy me all those things, I would be wondering now of why he would be pamper me so much, buying me all those useless junks.

Just because we don't understand what our heavenly Father is thinking right now, doesn't mean that we cannot just trust Him and follow whatever He wants us to do.
Have we not even entrusted Him with our lives and all that we live for?

It's true that sometimes it's frustrating when our prayers are not answered with a yes, but do we not know from experience that He is always on our side, eager to bless us with good gifts?
Are His plans not for our good, did He not come so that we can have life, and have it even more abundantly?

Is He not a God who laughs with joy, and grants joy to His children that they may be roaring with joyful laughters?

Lord, Lord,
Help me to continue to trust in You even when I think that my ways are higher than Yours, even when I'm so prideful.
Help me to understand what it means to be humble before Your majesty, and be in awe with Your wondrous works.
Help me Lord to be an even better person, not by my might, not by my power, and not even by my own effort, but by Your Spirit.

Bring to my remembrance of how Your plans are for the best, my own can never compare.
Bring to my remembrance of how smooth things would go whenever You're in charge.
Bring to my remembrance of how awesome things would be whenever Your hands start working.

Even when my heart is breaking, enable me to hold on to Your promises;
Even when my soul is melting, allow me to hold on to Your robe of grace,
Even when I'm trembling with fear and anticipation and worries, let Your rain wash over me.

For who is greater than Thou?

For who can we even turn to, if not Thee?

For who have we in heaven, but You?

For Your ways are higher than my ways, and Your thoughts higher than my thoughts.