maybe

Just a little bit courage is all I need to brave the innumerable possibilites, and that little bit of courage is what I don't have. Or have yet to have. Or will never have.

Or maybe courage is not something that is waited upon, or gained but rather a decision to do something even with fear clinging all over.

Or maybe I just don't want to risk it because it'll disturb my current tranquil, it'll upset the balance of my everyday life and be troublesome.

And sometimes, thoughts like that makes me wonder whether I am a person possessing a cold, solidified heart.

Or maybe it's just my inability to at least imagine what would most probably take place, what to do, what to expect.

Or maybe it's just my feeling of insecurity, having to open up and be known.

It's like being a book with an interesting cover and having a summary at the back that arouses curiosity, but as the pages are flipped it is realised that the book isn't so interesting after all.
Full of flaws,
Full of shortcomings,
Just another book that does not deserve to be on a shelf and having a worth that only amounts to being a fireplace fuel.

I'm not all pessimistic, I am only almost never optimistic when it comes to relationship with people.
To worry over every single words said,
To worry over every single gesture shown,
Continually wondering whether I've presented myself well before people.

Like some people commented, it's good to think things through, but when you over-do it, you end up stuck like me, and it doesn't feel good at all.
Sometimes it does, but most of the time it's no fun at all.