future

Hey you.

Yes, you who has plans to be a husband, to get married.

Don't just dream and hope about it, please do start now.

Start working to be a good husband, to be a good father.

Rid yourself of your collection of pornography materials.
Rid yourself of that cigarette pack.
Rid yourself of that pride.
Rid yourself of unforgiveness.
Rid yourself of sin.

Seek God for strength.
Seek God for fruits of His Spirit.
Seek God for truth.
Seek God to prepare you to be a better person.
Seek God to replenish you.
Seek God's will for your life.

I don't want to see your wife crying just because you've never prepared to forgive her of her wrongdoings, or simply because you're too prideful to care about her, or cos you're busy watching your pornography, or because you're having sex outside marriage, or you're too busy pleasing yourself.

I don't want to see your kids running around, growing to be someone who's bitter towards other people, growing up to be someone who purposely causing trouble, simply because you're so easy to raise your hands to hit them, or too busy to discipline them, or too busy pleasing yourself.

I don't want to see those you claim you love contracting cancer, simply because you don't have the self-control to not smoke in front of them. I don't want to see them contracting diseases, simply because you don't have the self-control to not have sex outside of marriage.

You, who profess to love your girlfriend : Grow up and be a true man. Not the kind that continues watching porn, masturbating, or very selfish.

I beg you, please start your journey for betterment now. If you do plan to get married, if you do plan to love someone, these, I beg you do.

Please, don't wait till tomorrow; you might forget about it by then. And don't say you won't forget. I refuse to accept your excuses to see your loved ones cry the next time i see them.

bitter

A Christian can be at peace with God and self, but never with the world.

If he is to deceive himself that his patience and virtues are already perfected, and that he has already attained all the good character traits, he'll probably end up in trouble one day in his encounter with the world.

Sometimes, I wonder whether I'll go crazy with all these people around me, with their unforgiveness, with their mindset problems.

I would be glad to blame it on them, claiming that these people perhaps would one day be at peace with God, at the expense of the Christians who has been absorbing their hurts and problems.
They would have a good end, and the Christians who helped them would ended up all battered and hurt.

But I guess if the patience and virtues indeed comes from God, it wouldn't be such. Because it's not made up, it's not self-imposed, it's not something that is added to us, but instead became our being.

If such is the case, then I guess the bitterness and hurt behind these character of mine shows that I'm not there yet, and I shouldn't fake it. I won't just push people away, or do things differently because I'm admitting that it's not the true traits yet, but rather, to do the same thing, with a different way of thinking.

Did the shepherds change their ways just because they saw the infant Jesus?
They prolly did, but we don't know.
They could still be doing the same thing they've been doing for the years, but their views of life and of God would most surely change, because they've seen God's salvation.

So, I guess I'll still be doing the same things I've been doing, while admitting to my weaknesses and failures, looking forward to a better person God would make me in the future, be it near or far.

church

Why should there be a distinction between you and the church?

Why should there be a "the CF" and "me?"

Is not the church, you, and the christian fellowship, you?

If you, as an individual doing something to serve God, is that not also an act of the church, instead of you personally?

Aren't you the extending hand to reach where others care not to reach, or dare not to reach, or couldn't reach?

Why should there be a saying of "I'm doing what the church don't want or don't care to do?"

If you're doing it, does that not mean that the church IS doing it?

Oh, dearest brothers and sisters, why should there be a distinction between you and me? Why should there be a distinction between the you and the church?

You are part of the church, places and people you touch is an act of the church, inspired by God.

What your brethrens lack, you complement; what you lack, they do so too.

Can we be more loving, accepting, and complementary?

You, the beloved of God, please.

untitled

Lord, Lord,

I guess You just wouldn't let me be very comfortable,
I guess You just wouldn't allow me to do less,
I guess You just wouldn't allow me to do less to avoid more failures?

These things You've prepared me for, these things that You've put into my heart...

You do know how much You're demanding from me, right?

And these things that You wanted me to do, You know how much laughter and mocking I'll receive when things wouldn't work out as expected, right?
You also know that it means I have to be transparent, to expose things I never wanted to, to be vulnerable to people?

You do know all these that You're asking of me, right?

True, I can choose to be comfortable, and to ignore all these tuggings of the heart, but I also know that that is foolishly self-chosen shortsightedness.

So, this I propose, this I plead, that if all these are from You, and these are indeed what You wanted me to do, do take control.

Do anoint me.

Do bless me.

Because only You can.

It's ok for me to face failures, it's ok for me to be laughed at, it's ok for my weaknesses to be made known, but honestly, if it's from You, let me not miss this. Let me not be deceived to do otherwise.

Enable me to submit my all to You, to love You more than now, to yearn to look forward to the wonderful things that You'll do through this pair of small hands.

Because only You are deserving of this life.

And because only You can.

the future

Don't tell me that I'll know how things are when I'm out there, working or whatever, dealing with the real society.

I know how bad it's out there, I know how sucky it is.

It doesn't matter whether I've yet to be there, or is already there. Not much, at least.

If my life turn out great, what would your response be?

"You're lucky."
"Not yet, just you wait."
"God is unfair."

If my life turn out to be what you expect, or (silently wishing) hope, what would your response be?

"I told you so."
"See?"
"I told you so. (repetition)"

Are we to be conformed to the world, or are we here to be a light to others?

Not someone with superior mentality, or to be a blessings, but just to be a living testimony that there exist hope, that God is not dead.

We're not lighted so that people can see (though, that's part of the purpose), but to show people that there is actually Someone who lighted us first, and they too can be lighted up.

Yes, again, you can tell me, "you'll know when you're out there," and again it'll go like I've mentioned above.

But truly, no matter what I have to say, now, it'll always be "you'll know later..." with a hope that I do screw up, I do ended up badly, eh?

So, by you saying that, are you choosing not to bless me, but, to a certain extent, curse me?

Then, if I ever do screw up, I do hope that I'll have the faith and courage and knowledge to tell those who will come after me that, God is still good, no matter what.

I never deserve anything, not even Your sight to be set upon me,
But You saw me, and with love You lifted me and carried me with Your arms,
Adorn me with happiness, joy and glory; these I probably wouldn't have been able to taste,
And if You take these away,
Thank You that You have once gave,
Thank You that You have once loved. (though His love is for eternal.)

You give and take away, You give and take away...

untitled

Even when I refuse to plan too far ahead,
Even when I refuse to think further,
These visions kept coming, streaming down my mind.

Are these from you, or from my wishful thinking?
Make Yourself ever so true in every thoughts that I have,
In every decisions that I make.

I need You,
and in agreement, I declare that Your will be done,
In my life,
and especially in those that I've chosen to love.