seek first...

I want to feel important. I want to feel indispensable.

But why is it that I kept forgetting the more I strive to be important, the more I work at being indispensable, that the very same thing I'm running after, are running away from me?

Why do I kept forgetting that honour, glamour, and crown, these I never did earn?
Why do I kept forgetting that rich robes, scepter and prestige, these, they were given! And is given! And will be given!

But my job is not to seek them; they're mere bonuses, not the wage! Oh, when will this heart repent!

To Your side, o' Lord. Onwards, into Your charge. Let me not fall from Your sight; pull me to Your side.

Make me seek what should be sought. Let me wrought till the breath is naught.

youth

The more you worry that your youth will flee, the faster it will.

selflessness

Have you ever been (or did something) selfless, and someone comes to you and tells you that you shouldn't be. They tell you that you should be more selfish.

And these the same people who bemoans that the world is lacking of selfless people.

Is it me, or they don't really know what they want?

halfway

I have two ways to say goodbye.

The first would be to say it now, to say it in words. To do this, the sole purpose would be for the tears.

The second would be to say nothing at all, and to let time deal with the memory. Time and space will sweep things away, slowly, but surely.

Can I?

Maybe, just maybe your tears would convince me that I'm not unloved. That I'm loved. That I meant something...

But this would also serve to convince me that I do not love you as much as I think I do, for if I really do love you as much as I think I do, I wouldn't, no, couldn't bear to see you cry. Not ever.

I guess I just don't love you enough.




Or perhaps, just perhaps, that you couldn't care less.